The Village Gym (aka: meat market)

Tonight my friends and I went to the country club gym to work off our Ding Dongs, Twinkies and Dr.Peppers. (I wish) For the first 1/2 hour we chatted while we sweated like pigs on the treadmills and then headed over to the bikes. I stood in between Chandra and Erin while waiting for an empty spot. Suddenly a guy came up to us and said "So is this some sort of work-out group?"

We all laugh heartily and scanned each others faces wondering which one of us knew him. I figured maybe it's one of the guys from our ward. New-bes are always moving in, right? For sure, that has to be it.

I told him that I'm their coach and began to shout "move it, faster" and play my part. Then our new little friend says "so do guys come here often?" (oh crap, he's hitting on us!) Chandra tried her best to HINT to him by saying "well not lately, it's hard with the kids and all". Unfortunately she's a little soft spoken and our little friend needs to buy some q-tips and totally missed it. (dang it...how did he miss our rings?...maybe it's because I'm the only one wearing a ring)

At this point I'm starting to stare out the window with a blank face. Welcome to the zone. I'm too shocked, appalled, and tongue-tied to offer anything to the conversation. It's like I'm 14 again. Then our friend goes for his next step toward victory "so which apartments do you guys live in?" (in case you don't know, The Village is made up of like 15 apartment complexes) So we told him which apartments, I mean what could be the harm in that!! This poor guy has no clue what he just got himself into. He has NO CLUE he's hitting on 3 married women with a total of 8 kids.

Now what do we do? Do we ask him questions? Do we tell him to hit the road? Do we mention how huge and manly our gorgeous husbands are? Pull out the accordion photo booklet and ask him if he would like to see a picture of our kids? Tell him we have STD's? We have been married too long to remember the 10 steps of getting rid of boys we aren't interested in without crushing their egos.

Awkward silence begins. Thankfully he took the hint and made his leave. Gosh I don't even know how to talk to a single guy any more. Am I that lame? I can't even hold a normal conversation. Maybe next time I'll get some balls and just straight out tell him...we're Lesbians.