A Parents Nightmare

 I remember a sign I saw in a friends backyard when visiting for a summer swim.  It read "Please don't put P in our _ool"!!!  Still making me smile years later.

Potty Training....*sigh*....in my mind it's like a cuss word.  I loath it.  There isn't one single enjoyable part of it's process other then when it's completed.  It is a two steps forward, one step back.  Rarely is there a child that one day says I would like to pee & poop in the toilet (especially my children, whom rarely speak until 3) and from that day on they have no accidents and can hold it through the night.  Although secretly every parent wants it to be their child.

But after many discussions with friends and family about the ups and downs  (mainly the downs) I've come to realize something...when you start, you can absolutely NOT give up.  And when I say "you" I'm speaking to the parent.  The worst thing you can do for the future of that child (physically, socially and emotionally) would be to get them 1/2 way there and then throw up your hands and not finish.  Even though potty training could last 6 months or more, I firmly believe it is the parents duty to see that child through to the end.  (of course excluding those with physical or mental disabilities).

When to know to start is also a guessing game.  A child can show interest, can talk about it, can insist on watching the process but it won't matter unless the Parent is ready.  Because this training takes total and complete dedication.  The Parent has to be ready to deal with some dirty, dirty, DIRTY situations.  They have to be ready to run the 50 yard dash, leaving their whole cart of groceries in a store and know the "fire escape route" to the nearest potty.  They have to have supplies on hand no matter where they go...extra underwear, pants, even shoes and socks.  (oh yes, a pee puddle can collect there too!)  You must be willing to get to a park for a leisure afternoon and be willing to race home or knock on a neighbors door within minutes of arrival even if you did have the child "go" before they left.  You have to be ready to with cleaning supplies, carpet spot cleaner, anti-bacterial wipes and maybe even a fingernail scrub brush (my 4th child taught me that).  A parent must be ready to have an internal clock set for every 30 mins to take a child potty.

But most importantly we must be filled with the patience of Job.   Because getting upset with the child, no matter the extent of the stain they have left in their wake, only scares them.  Instead a parent needs to take a deep breath and quietly remind the child wear bodily fluids must be deposited.  Anger will only take you further back in the process.

So how to do it?
Load them up with fluids like CRAZY and find a way to make them relax.  Some read books to their kids, some let them sit on a portable potty in front of the tv, some teach the kids to clean up their own mess, some have a child practice running to the potty and sliding off their pants from the scene of the crime, some throw cheerios in the pot and tell their boys to try to hit them and some do a sticker chart with a reward at the end.  Some do ALL of that.  But really you do what works for your child.  Sometimes it takes a while to figure out what it is that will convince the child the potty really is better then their diaper.

Unless your like me and one day just stop buying diapers so not only can the child not have them, but also so that I won't have a crutch to fall back on.