Bad Decision

On Monday as I was driving to pick up
my Mom and Grandmother from the airport.

I called Larry.

I was so elated that I couldn't help it.
I knew I would be interrupting him, but I didn't care.

me: "Hi honey."
Lar: "Hey."
me: "I'm currently driving my dream car."
Lar: "So I'm figuring you are NOT driving the Regal."
me: "Yep."

One thing I know for sure.

You should never let a mother who's DYING
for a bigger car drive a Tahoe XL for a week.

A really bad idea.

Let's All Sit Around The Campfire

This week will have posts few and far between.
I'll be on a brief hiatus entertaining two smart, gorgeous, loving women.

Grandma Fancy Nancy and Grt-Grandma Jane

But to entertain you blogging fanatics I've saved my little
story from Larry's job for your curious minds
to feed over...

Let us proceed.

The honest to gosh truth:
2 couples were "parking".
Both were making things a little "hot and heavy".
The couple in front had a condom.
The couple in back did not.

(do not read on if you have virgin ears or a queasy stomach)

After the couple in front was done with the condom,
they past it back.
The boy in back then flipped the condom inside-out
and proceeded to ...

(you catch my drift)

10 months later...
the girl in the back seat now has a baby,
and the father is the boy in the front seat!

She has taken him to court for paternity support.

The question is...who should pay?

#1. The responsible fellow in the front that
remembered his Trojan.

OR

#2. The "one egg short of a dozen" boy in the back.

Getting Scammed

Recently I decided to start teaching piano again. I wanted to bump up my client list from more than my 2 daughters. So I started advertising. There have been many phone calls, many conversations but few that "bite". Which is understandable. But I wanted to keep the ball rolling so I thought I'd advertise on Craigslist.

Two days into the posting I got this email.

Hello, I'm Colby Alvin....I will like to know if you can Tutor my son in your field 3 times in a week and 1 hour each day If this is possible,i will want you to get back to me with the cost of your teaching and get back to me with your cell phone number .

Thank and God bless

Innocently I replied to his email with this...

Mr Alvin,
Thank for your interest in my piano lessons. Normally I see kids once a week for 30 mins and then have them take the assigned pages home to practice on their own with parental guidance. My fees are usually $20 per 30 min lesson. If you are looking for a more comprehensive lessons that would involve the child practicing their piano music in my home we can work something out.
I do have a few questions that will help me better understand the needs and situation:
How old is your son?
Has he taken any piano lessons previously?
Does he currently play any instruments?
Does anyone in the home play any instruments?
Do you own a piano or keyboard?
I normally teach lessons from the Bastian series books and go over technique and songs during my lessons. Please feel free to contact me with more questions or if you are still interested. I would be glad to set up a meet and greet.
Rachel

But then this morning I was cracking up when I got this email in response. I love it!

Hello........Thank you for the email, My son is 14 years old he's name is Joe .I could have love to meet you in person before starting the lesson but i will be traveling next week on a missionary that is the more reason why i will not be able to meet you and my son will come down to your location for the lesson because i have already make arrangement with Guardian that will be taking care of him for his period of tutoring I have make contacts with my son concerning the arrangement of the tutoring which he told me he's ok with him and i want you to know that i am going to pay for 1 month and i will be making a bank transfer into your account for the payment . i want you to know that the rest of the money will be used to get accommodation and other arrangement for the lesson .I will be more than happy if you can get back to me with your bank name and account details as soon as possible.

Thanks and God bless

I should have known it was a scam. The fact that they thought piano lessons were the same as tutoring and would need to be taught 3 times a week. Plus they specifically asked for my cell number!!

It's like a rite of passage to be scammed on Craigslist.

This email is overflowing with obvious reasons that this person is:
1. Going to H_ _ _ for using God's name to scam people.
2. Doesn't comprehend English nor use it as their 1st language.
3. Would be more successful if he stopped using the term "tutoring" for a piano lesson.
4. Pitiful for using missionary work as an excuse.
5. Needs to be more creative then using "JOE" as your fake child's name.

So currently I am torn with how I should proceed. Maybe y'all should decide for me. Should I:

A. Email back with a few choice 4 letter words.
B. Contact Craigslist and the FTC to report him.
C. Keep the Lame-o on the hook by sending more emails with questions, fake bank numbers and really screw with him.
D. Give him the phone number to my FBI brother-in-law.
E. All the above

Move Over Martha

A quote I've heard my parents repeat a 1000 times is...
“Eat it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.”

Something I've been doing for much of the
decorating around the house.
Besides buying cans of paint
(only the $13 ones from Wal-mart)
I've mainly used items from my closets
and revamped them into something "new".

My favorite is this door.
When Larry and I married he had this tall cd case.
It had this great door on the front.
I loved being able to put pictures of the kids in it over the years.
But on our last move this tall case had seen "better days".
It was completely falling apart.
It had been taped and nailed just to keep it standing.
So before we chucked it, I unscrewed the front door.
And "wal-la".
It has found a new home at the top of our stairs!

After watching numerous decorating shows on HGTV
I was determined to save my kids artwork and use it in the playroom.
And I have to agree, it's the best possible utilization of space.
It just adds an elegant touch to the otherwise "toy-take-over".

This K was made in about 30 mins.
All day I debated back and forth about how to make it.
Eventually I went with the old adage of,
K.I.S.S.
(keep it simple stupid)
and stuck with left over wood and spray paint.
I was determined to add some things that would
define Keira's room as her own.

It's a good thing her name started with a K,
and not something complicated like Q!!!

(man, what project and I going to do when the house is fully decorated?)
mmmmmm....

Eureka!

Not that it was lost...but just...misplaced.
As some may know Larry is 1/4 Hispanic.
It's not a lot, but enough to make him and his mom
hard to match up, to give him a minuscule understanding
of the Spanish language, and just enough to give
us a small discount on school applications.

But we were wondering if this 1/4 that was donated
to our children and thus turning into a small 1/8 would
show up?

And I think we found it!

When Keira Jane gets super mad,
she rolls her tongue!
Just watch.
(the very beginning)

In The Lap Of Luxury

When it's time to settle down from a hard days work,
don't you wish you had your own private tub.
One that was just your size.
Something you could relax in,
and find peace, your inner zen, calm...
deep breathe?

Well, Ben does!

Every time Keira get's out of the tub,
he rushes to fill her empty seat.
And then quickly piles in all of his toys.

Just chillin' in my personal jacuzzi!

Do you think he's a little big for that boat?
Maybe?

I think he's drinking water from a little teacup.
GROSS!!
Seriously, Lar, that's yuck!

Bromance

It has been such a joy to have Ben using words to express his feelings and to tell us what he needs. Every day seems to get a little easier to bargain with him, to teach him and to work past the stubborn terrible 2's.

Even this morning he said..."I see the car too." A whole 5 word sentence! Which is A LOT for a boy that was still pointing and grunting 4 months ago.

But my favorite thing to watch in our little man is his "boyisms". It's so fascinating! I had no idea that boys were so caveman-like from the very beginning. Like when his little peers come over to play they wave, eye each other, grunt, sword fight, and make these weird rumbling noises from the back of their throats to replicate engine noises. Something no female can replicate.

Welcome to testosterone!!

For the past few days Ben has been carrying around a picture of his friend, Hudson. And as you can see Ben has become slightly...attached to his Bromance!




It was cracking me up that when ever I talked about Hudson he would quickly hide it, just in case I was going to take it away from him!! Funny little man!! You can hang with your home-boy any time!

2 vs. 4

You start wondering the caliber of your Family Night's when 95% of it is spent disciplining and only 5% on spiritual topics!

Tonight Larry and I seriously felt tag-teamed by the kids.

While he was keeping Keira entertained (aka: on the ferge of dropping buckets of tears), and Ben away from me while I gave a lesson (why must all 2year olds have their face RIGHT in FRONT of the book that your reading?). I did my best to find a spiritual story and lesson in the go-to magazine, The Friend. But eventually all H_ _ _ broke loose and Ben was shipped off to the bathroom for time-out. Which then turned into Larry finding tools to unlock the bathroom door!

As I said... 5% ....it ain't so bad.

Did You See That?

Normally I don't leave my house in the mornings. Too much traffic, too many police monitoring school zones, and too many kids to prepare for an early exit.

Graciously Larry has taken on the roll of dropping Sydney off at school on his way to work. It has been such a relief and a blessing, that our mornings are really quite peaceful.

But today Larry needed to be to work early for trial so I huffed & puffed it to zoom out the door by 7:35am.
(yes Natalie, there is one of those in the AM)

I was appalled at some of the strange things I saw. Who knew that there was such WEIRD conduct to gawk at?

1. A grandma driving a raised 1/2 ton pick-up truck that could barely see through the hole in the steering wheel. I guess only in TX.
2. A pack of High School students standing at a corner waiting for the bus. No one talking. Everyone ignoring the other. ALL with ipods on and ear plugs in.
3. A mom driving her kids to school with her hair still wrapped in a towel from her shower!

SHOCKING...I know!! But completely entertaining.

(Larry told me of a case in a neighboring county that was about a paternity test, because apparently you can get some bodies eggo-preggo without making luv... This story is seriously mind-boggling, but I'm hesitant to blog it. But if enough of you comment and are interested...I'll do it!)

P.S. Mother's day give-a-way on "Meanest Mom Blog" click here.

It Paid Off

Step by step this shy, pretty little girl
is really coming out of her shell.

Last night I was reminded that Sydney had a talk in Primary.
(oops, sorry kid-o)
So before bed we took out our scriptures, some paper, a pen
and talked about the topic.
"Jesus Christ died so that we might live again"

While talking about it we were reminded of an article of faith
that mentions the Atonement.
(hooray for FHE and dedicating ourselves to learning all 13)

So Sydney told me what she wanted to say for her talk
while I wrote it down for her.
This is what she said:

"Article of Faith #3 is about Jesus Christ's gift
to us that we might live again.
'We believe that through the Atonement
of Christ all mankind may be saved,
by obedience to the laws and
ordinances of the gospel.'
Jesus Christ died on the cross and suffered for our sins.
Easter Sunday reminds us of his resurrection.
This should make us happy because we will live
with our families and Heavenly Father again.
I know that Jesus Christ will live again
and we will too."

Besides her fervent testimony and strong spirit
I was thoroughly happy to see that she could
read most of the talk herself and
only needed help on a few big words!

She's come a long way from that shy girl 2 years ago!

Up Close & Personal

With Keira changing so quickly these past months
we find ourselves obsessed with taking pictures of her.
So to balance out the baby overload,
here are a few pictures of our ever growing kids.
(more to come with pictures of Sydney)

Ben (2 years old)

Emma (4 years old)

Ben-ism

While swinging at the park...

B: "SASTER, SASTER!"

(translation: faster, faster)

Which is kind of hard to satisfy when Mama's got a baby on a hip and two 40 lb-ers to push on swings too. But I'm trying buddy, I'm trying!!

Gump Thoughts

Life is like a band-aid...

if we just pull quickly and get it over with, the pain will subside quickly!

Right?

Speed is better!

Like when driving (see previous posts), brushing through tangled hair, changing diapers and paying bills.

Have I mentioned that I'm soooo fast at paying bills I can bring our account from large amounts to zero in under 5 mins?

Seriously, speedy! Quick, with the mouse.

Could I put that on a resume?

But what your mom didn't tell you about ripping off the band-aid is, that sometimes the ugly scab is still there under it. And now that you've ripped it off you have to look at the ugly scab.

Kind of like when you pay your bills every other Friday and then you get to look at a BIG FAT ZERO for two weeks while you dig for change to buy gas.

Ugly zero!

Pigging Out On Pig

Isn't it ironic we stuff ourselves with sugary treats
and pork on Easter?
Neither of which the Jews during Christ's time partook of,
especially during his death and resurrection.

We were lucky enough to be invited over to
our friends, the KERN's home for Easter dinner.
(spending it with friends...now that's more like it)

A close up of the whole gang!
(crazy how it looks like just a picture of our kids,
but if you look closely you'll find "little Emma")

"Little Emma" (aka: Emma, Emmers, etc)
...wanted to practice holding a baby.
She's going to be a big sister in a week or 2.
Although I'm sure her sister will probably never
be that roley-poley!

Bragging Rights

Did I ever mention that my husband was HOT?

Hands down one of the best husbands around.

My friends have even told me that he's just
genuinely a "nice guy".
The kind that will stop to talk to you.
And if he sees you in the grocery store he'll say hi,
unlike some husbands that will look the other way
and pretend they don't know you!
So here's a shout out to my hubby.

(I'm not worried about any jealous ladies hitting on him,
he gets offers ever day from the skanks fresh off the streets
that he represent as a P.D.)

Grandkid #15

My older brother Joel and his wife Kaissa
had their 5th child today.
(my dad's birthday)

Mary Klaire Gurvine
(goes by middle name)

9 lbs 1 oz
We love chubby babies!!

Her older sister Kayleigh has been waiting for this day for 12 years!
Kayleigh has been braving her 3 other brothers by herself.
Finally someone to even out the odds!!
Congratulations!!

Enough With Easter? NEVER!

The Bunny came to our house and left a little maze
for each of the kids...

A trail for each to follow...
Ben (orange), Sydney (green) & Emma (yellow)

It took them on a hunt...

And here they come!

It lead them each to their baskets, to inspect the contents.

Daddy helped Ben find his.

And then it's time to search for more eggs.

Please note: most of these photos will show little or no faces.

They were so determined to find them...

...happy and screaming...

...there was NO WAY they were going to stop and pose for me!

Digging through the grass to find their chocolate bunny's.

Silly egg-head!

I told Ben to put the candy away for breakfast, so he quickly threw it ALL into his mouth!
Punk!

Finding a soft spot to hang on his sister's lap!

They only egg Keira got was an empty plastic one!
(oh and some baby food too.)

Ben was sooooo hyper from the candy and all the
excitement, he was literally doing circles!
Larry was once again, trying to get his candy from him,
and asked for his chocolate bunny...
so Ben hid it under his shirt!
(funny kid)

The Hunt Is...ON

You can't have a holiday without a little competition!
And we are ALL for racing to gather eggs
full of candy!

The Fabulous Four...
all smiles and compliance.

...or not!
I love Ben's scrunchy face.

Say what?
I don't get to race for eggs?
Ahhh shucks!

The poutty 2 year old needed a little coaxing.

He sees everyone else picking up eggs.
He's thinking about joining them.
Maybe...

And then we show him there's candy inside...
and he BOLTS!

And he didn't stop until his bucket was FULL.

Now, Emma on the other hand...
she was the fastest egg grabber I've ever seen.

Seriously, within seconds this is how full her bucket was!

"Can I eat one?"

Now that Sydney is older she had to race against the bigger kids.

But obviously, she held her own.
We came home with PLENTY of candy.
And the Easter Bunny hadn't even come yet!!
(apparently Syd wanted to open each egg to make sure it had
the "right" kind of candy inside.)

Besides my beautiful Sydney, I mainly posted this picture
because of the girl in the background.
Look at how full her basket is!!
Overflowing.
I think she got her fair share!
(and then some)

"Mom, where's my eggs?
Where's my candy?"

No candy for you sweetheart.
"Ahh MAN!"